After the awesome number on the scales this morning, I thought this day wouldn't be too bad
And indeed it wasn't.
My lovely vegan work colleague / friend was back from her holiday and she bought me some really thoughtful presents - We always get each other magnets from our holiday destinations, however she also bought me some chocolate biscuits as well as some mango (which I love). It's always nice to receive gifts, especially when you're not expecting them, however what do you do when it's food? It's one thing to have enough will power not to buy certain things, but when they're given to you, it's quite tricky. On one hand, you want to eat them, on the other, you want to bin them as you don't want to be tempted - However then there's the guilt, why throw things away when they're perfectly edible?
I don't want to appear ungrateful, so I said thank you and said I'd look forward to eating them later and now they're at home, in a cupboard, away from sight. I'm thinking of giving them to a friend at the weekend as I know she'll enjoy them and isn't healthy eating. That way they are used, but I'm not the one using them :-)
Now I'm back at home, already in my Pyjamas, watching the last 2 episodes of Pride and Prejudice (the BBC adaptation, not any inferior production!) having ate another portion of the spaghetti and meatballs I made on Saturday night. Lunch was a pepper, some tomatoes, a pita bread and houmous and breakfast was my obligatory porridge and blueberries so I think it's been a pretty healthy day really.
I also spoke to my Dad tonight on the phone - For once, the conversation wasn't as strained as usual. He's not a bad man per se, however I do think that some of my issues around food, my weight and appearance stem from him and how he treated me as a child. It's only been through months of counselling (which started as I needed an operation and am terrified of injections but after the operation we continued talking about things) that I've been able to unravel things in my head and actually, calling an 11 year old girl who's going through puberty 'fat' is not a good idea, nor is constantly pointing out how much she's eating....
However, my Dad was actually really supportive on the phone in regards to my job and actually said some things that made sense. I don't think we'll ever have a close relationship, unlike that of my Mother and I, but having a polite relationship with him is a lot better than I had growing up and at least I know now what's acceptable behaviour....
As it's half way through June, I'm going to make a real effort to make the last 2 weeks as positive as possible, not only in regards to food, but in regards to taking care of myself and sorting things out such as getting rid of old clothes and using things in my cupboards I've had for ages.
And the fact my Boss is in London tomorrow means that work will be happier and less stressful :-)
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