Well, that's a bit of an anti climax

Today didn't really start off like I expected

Last night after I blogged: 1 large glass and 1 small glass of red wine

Breakfast: Oats so simple Golden Syrup porridge pot with blueberries

Lunch: Wholemeal pita bread, 1/2 a pot of houmous, raw pepper and handful of tomatoes

Dinner: BBQ Chicken breast with lettuce, tomatoes, cucumber

Snack: Bakewell Tart nakd bar

Last night, my boyfriend and I went to a pub for a pint of diet coke, or in my case, a glass of red wine - a large glass of red wine, which turned into 1 large glass and 1 small glass of red wine. As I don't drink very often, I was rather drunk and after a nice 1.5 hours of chatting in the pub, he drove me home and I spent the next few minutes working out what I could eat as I had the munchies... 

I've been quite good in not having any chocolate in my house, so I'm not easily tempted to shove it all in my face - With that option unavailable to me, I did manage to find prawn crackers and frozen gyoza dumplings. 15 minutes later, I had 8 dumplings and some prawn crackers and was eating them with sweet chili sauce whilst watching 'Googlebox'. I then went to bed and slept for a few hours, before waking up in the middle of the night as my flea / mosquito bites were itching, scratching my leg, my leg bleeding and falling back to sleep...  I woke up this morning with dried blood on my leg - Lovely :-S

Do I regret eating more food than I needed? Not really, no - People do it when drunk and I'm human. The old me would have berated herself, felt like a failure and have thought 'Well, no point in continuing my healthy eating as the scales won't show a good number for ages, now.' and that would have usually signalled the end of my diet. The new me is looking at this a bit more pragmatically - Yeah, it wasn't ideal, but these things happen - It will happen again, I'm sure. I'm going to fancy a drink at some points in time and at some other points, I'm sure I'll get the munchies. I can't go back and change what I ate yesterday, but I can change what I eat today and as such, it will be back to normal with the healthy lifestyle :-)

I got into work really early this morning as I needed to print off, sign and scan in all the new job documents and there were quite a few. I wanted to do it early so no-one asked me what I was doing, nor managed to look at any of the documents. With that done, I emailed my Boss, asking him for a meeting as we usually have one on a Monday, anyway. Unfortunately, he emailed back and said it would be tight and could we have a phone call in the afternoon? Sure, I replied, but it would be good to talk to him today, whenever is best for him.

As it turns out, he arrived at work at 10:30 and suggested we have a quick catch up - As I wasn't mentally prepared, I rushed what I was trying to say which was basically 'Not happy, want to leave, please pay me money if you want my resignation now'.... 

I appreciate that some people might not agree with my approach. 'Why bother?' Just resign as you've got another job' and if I hadn't have been subjected to such horrible behavior over the last few months, that's exactly what I would do. However, I've worked my absolute butt off, over the last 5 years - I've opened offices overseas, undertaken office moves, sorted out things that weren't working on Bank Holidays, I was even running the company when my Boss's son sadly died last year - None of which was within my job description, but I did it as it was needed. So to witness my Boss have 'super secret' meetings to coach the woman I assume he's been sleeping with and take away various departments and responsibilities from me and give them to her, just isn't acceptable behavior. Being excluded from meetings I've attended for over 2.5 years without being told why, isn't acceptable and being pushed out from the company isn't acceptable.

So my plan is to see if I can get my Boss to pay me to resign. He doesn't know I have a job offer and as I have 10 days to accept it, I can play for time. Also, my mental health is a lot better knowing I won't be working here in a few weeks. So worst case = Boss says no to paying me, and I resign. Best case, Boss says yes to paying me and I resign. Either way, I'll be leaving soon. After I garbled my words out, my Boss asked for time to think about it, saying he didn't see the point of garden leave and he'd consider what I was asking and we'd talk again on Wednesday.....Watch this space!

Work was really, really, really... boring. I don't have a lot to do at the moment which is a rarity, but as such, I find it soul destroying to sit at my desk and not actually, well, work! I mostly emailed my friends and read online forums which isn't exactly good practice, but I've totally checked out of this job now, so it's just playing a bit of a waiting game. Thankfully I got to walk into town with my lovely work friend at lunch time, even if it was just to grab some salad bits for tonights dinner. 

After work, I headed back and marinated some chicken breasts in BBQ sauce for the makeshift BBQ I was planning to do with my Boyfriend, watched 'The Last Ship' (a post Zombie apololyptic drama, directed by Michael Bay so loads of things blow up) before heading over to my Boyfriends house. We sat in his garden, chatting, whilst the chicken cooked on the BBQ and I told him what had happened at work and how I can't wait to leave in a few weeks time. 

Dinner was really nice - I love BBQ's and anything marinated in BBQ sauce gets my vote instantly :-) Once finished, we headed inside and found something on TV that we could both watch 'Shed of the year', which is this weird program where people in the UK make crazy things out of their sheds - A Japanese Tea House, a World War 2 land Girls hut, a 1950's diner... Crazy stuff! We also cuddled a lot, which for me is really enjoyable as I've felt a lot closer to my boyfriend over the past few months - probably because he's been really supportive over my work stress. 

I'm now back home watching South Park and am looking forward to hopefully getting a really long sleep tonight as it seems to be a bit cooler? 

Back to normal?

Today has been probably one of the most busy-but-boring days I’ve had in a while.

Busy, because my lovely work colleague is still off and therefore I’m currently holding the fort in her areas as well, however boring because nothing bad happened at work, my Boss wasn’t in, the woman (I believe) he’s sleeping with wasn’t in and as such, the atmosphere was rather, well… calm. It made me question my desire to leave - There are lots of nice people in the company, it's a short commute, I've got a really good work / life balance.... However I then reminded myself that sadly it's not 'normally' like this and I spend most of my days very anxious about what's going to happen next.

I also got positive feedback from the Recruiter about my interview yesterday and the company have confirmed they’d like me in again – Crikey.. I actually felt my stomach tighten slightly when I read it as I’m a bit more invested with the company and the idea of working for them. Ahh well, let’s see what the next couple of weeks hold, eh?

My period is definitely just around the corner and usually 2-3 days beforehand I’m fighting off cravings to eat more than usual and that ‘more’ being chocolate and anything fatty that tastes nice. Oddly, I don’t feel like that at the moment so I don’t know if it’s because I’ve been healthy eating for a while now, or if I’m just trying harder to listen to what my body wants, but either way.. I’m feeling more, ‘in control’ I guess.

Breakfast was, well.. why don’t you guess? :-) Porridge, of course whilst lunch was the sushi I didn’t eat yesterday. Even though I had my food in the fridge, I still went into town as had to pick up the ingredients to make the healthy fajitas for my friend coming over to my house after work as well as pay a cheque into the bank and purchase some stamps and buy the birds some more bird food.  

At the moment, all I seem to be doing is buying the little feathered tweeting things food – I thought they weren’t supposed to need as much food in the summer as there were more bugs to eat, however all of them sit in my back garden, on my fence in the morning, waiting for me to feed them with bird seed, fat balls and tasty sunflower seeds like they are in some kind of mafia.

Fajitas were lovingly provided by the Spicery - the present my sister got me for Christmas that just keeps giving :-) 

It was really nice seeing my friend this evening, she looks so amazing now - over 7.5 stone lost! When I told her that I'd lost 8.5 lbs and my main goal was to wear size 14 jeans by Christmas, she was really supportive and told me that she had bought some size 14 clothes! I have to say, there was a slight green eyed monster, however 99.9% of me was just really chuffed for her as despite what people say, I don't think the gastric bypass is an 'easy' choice and she made the right choice for her. 

We had a massive catch up and watched amazing television stored on my Sky planner such as 'Virgin coaches' (where Christians in America wait until their wedding night to have sex, therefore go to a sex retreat to talk about things, so it's not as much of a shock) and 'Sex Clinic' where people in London have had unprotected sex and the copious amounts of diseases they are tested for.... Exciting times!

Tomorrow I'm heading 3 hours 'Up North' to this work thing - I'm not overly looking forward to it, but it does mean I'm out the office, so it's not all bad :-)