Only buying healthy things in the supermarket

So far, things are looking good!

My first 'official;' day of garden leave and I think I've been more mentally busy than I have been for the last few weeks whilst at work. After getting up, I stuck a load of washing on and planned out what I would be eating for the next few days - I really don't want to give up on my healthy eating so I was thinking that if I meal planned, I would know what to get in the supermarket and it would be easier to stay on track if I knew what I'd be eating for the next few days.

Well, my shopping trip was incredibly successful. I managed to get a whole lot of fruit and vegetables and precisely 0 snacks at all. In fact, the only 'additional' thing that I bought was for lunch today and I was incredibly proud of the fact that I'd found it! What's that? Butter nut squash dip.. Hurrah! I loved the Butter nut squash and sweet potato dip that Marks and Spencers used to do, however they stupidly decided to discontinue it a few weeks ago, much to the chagrin of my lovely vegan friend and myself. Having had it for lunch with a raw pepper and pita bread, I have to say it's rather nice and with less than 6g of fat per 100g of the stuff, I'm certainly going to be eating a lot of it in the future - I just hope Sainsburys don't decide to discontinue it was well!

As I really don't want to sit on my arse for the next 4 weeks watching random TV. I decided to head off to another National Trust property and go to Hinton Ampner. I've been before so I knew it wasn't a massive property, but I could easily spend an hour or so walking around and admiring the antiques in the house. As it wasn't the best weather in the world today I also thought it wouldn't matter too much if I had to cut my visit short as it was within an hours drive of my house.

I think I made the right choice as it turns out that only the bottom floor of the house was open as there is construction work being done on the roof. Due to all the scaffolding, the house doesn't look as grand as it did before, however I guess it's a necessary evil and once done, the roof will be a lot better :-) The gardens were still beautifully done and I actually decided to wander down a footpath for 1/2 a mile or so in the fields, opposite to the property.All in all, I'm glad I went out and about, rather than staying in.

As news of my leaving the company spread round my ex-colleagues (my Boss sent an email just after lunch, telling everyone I had left), I was inundated with emails and Facebook friend requests which was really, really touching. I spent a good hour replying to people and was trying to balance telling them 'the truth', without coming across as bitter. Once again, it was really, really nice to read some of the complimentary things that all of my ex-colleagues were writing and stops me asking myself 'Was it me? Was I crap at my job?' evidently a lot of people don't seem to think so :-)

Tonight my lovely non-work friend and I are going to watch 4 episodes of  'Judge Geordie' and I've cooked her a Whole roasted cauliflower which turned out really, really well - whether you're a meat eater or not, I'd certainly recommend it. Yum! One of my sisters turned up tonight and we spent a lovely hour at the pub with my boyfriend and now we're off to bed so we can spend a lovely day together tomorrow :-)

So yes... Been 100% committed to my healthy eating and feeling really awesome! :-)

First July weigh in - More weight lost

Not only is it Friday, but I weigh less than I did a week ago

I’m aware that my weight loss blog is more of an Eastenders plot line at times than a healthy food blog, however I’ve noticed I tend to gravitate towards drama, preferring to be on the outskirts than have it in my life as a focal point. I think that’s why I like watching trashy TV such as ‘Geordie Shore’ and ‘The Valleys’ and all the incredibly factual and interesting Channel 5 documentaries, that obviously deal with profound social issues, e.g. ‘The woman who married the Eifel Tower’ in a caring and socially responsible manner (Take the last sentence with a very heavy dose of sarcasm!).  Tonight will be no different as I’m going to see my Drama friend, who will no doubt tell me about her latest man problem as well as how’s she getting on at her new job.

Despite my future being more secure, I didn’t sleep very well last night and I assume that’s because I knew I was in the office today, trying to find things to do for 8 hours. How people can deal with no being busy is beyond me, it seems like the most soul destroying thing ever, more so if you haven’t slept very well! Since I got the job offer my desire to step on the scales has subsided – almost as if I don’t need to control that aspect of my life as tightly as other parts of my life aren’t as chaotic as before. Nevertheless, I thought I’d step on the scales today and see what they said – Before I did, I had an internal dialogue with myself.

Your period was due yesterday, it’s not here yet which suggests you’ll still be more bloated and are retaining more water than usual

'What if I am? It’s not a big deal'

What will you do if you don’t see the number you want? Are you going to be upset?

'No, I won’t.. If the number isn’t what I want, I don’t care, I’ll carry on regardless.'

I think that’s the right attitude and one I’m still fighting – the ‘I’ll carry on regardless’ attitude as my body isn’t 100% predictable and this isn’t a diet, it’s a lifestyle change.

Crikey, that’s rather spiffing. I’m well happy with that! So, I’ve now gone from 99.9K to 91.0Kg which takes my total weight lost to 8.9Kg or 19.6lbs or… 1 stone and 5.6 lbs :-) That’s despite ‘red wine gate’ which proves once again, I need to try and relax my anxiety around binge eating and if it happens, accept it and just continue to make healthy choices the next day, and the day after that – It won’t undo all my hard work and it’s not the end of the world if I eat something unhealthy. I even had a pizza on Wednesday and a hot chocolate – and I’m still losing weight, so I definitely need to continue to try and sort my thinking out and not be too hard on myself.

So far today, work hasn’t been too bad as there doesn’t seem to be that many people in, which is good. A lot of the Senior people don’t seem to be around, so I’ve been left to my own devices and don’t have to appear busy or pretend that I’m actually doing work… At lunch time, my lovely work friend and I decided that rather than visit ASDA, we’d go even more crazy and try the nearest Co-op instead (Rock and Roll) so we headed out at midday and explored what healthy (and in her case, vegan) things we could find at the Co-op.

Well, my lovely friend was happy as they had her vegan 'Tuti Fruiti' doughnuts, so she grabbed some of them whilst I had a look at what I could find that was healthy. I have to say, I wasn't overly enthused with the healthy options when it came to lunch time. Out of all the sandwiches and wraps, there was a 'Beef burrito' wrap that seemed OK on the calorie and fat numbers, however it was tiny. Apart from that, I could have had a prawn mayonnaise sandwich, but, well.. I'm not overly keen on mayonnaise. 

Rather than default to my usual lunch time food and run to the houmous pots, I decided I'd go 'low carb' for a change and bought some meat and eggs. Unlike the other supermarkets - rather than just buy boiled eggs, the Co-op offered me two boiled eggs with some mustard mayonnaise on the side. Can't say I'm overly keen on that, but hey.. I didn't have to eat it :-)

Would I buy that again? If I had to shop at the Co-op, then maybe. I think the problem is, I don't usually shop at these shops, so knowing what they sell and being able to choose something quickly is much harder as I don't know what's healthy for me 'Off the top of my head'. I can't say I'd want to eat meat and boiled eggs every day, however - It's not the most healthy thing in the world and I actually prefer the idea of getting vitamins into my body - hence the raw pepper, the cucumber and tomato choices which I eat with houmous.

I'm blogging now as I don't know what I'm going to eat with my Drama Friend tonight. I don't know if we're going out or she's cooking, or what's happening - I'll update tomorrow with my food choices, however wherever we go, I'll do my best to make my choice a healthy and tasty one!

Never forget the positives

When things are stressful..... Keep on going.

I think most people are relieved that it’s Friday, however I’m so relieved it’s untrue.

Sitting at work, feeling like a leper each day is really getting to me and whilst I know I should think ‘Every day you’re paying me is one day closer to buying a house with my boyfriend’ and  ‘At least I have a job’, it’s so hard to actually pretend you’re happy when you hate every minute of it. In the last 5 years, I’ve always been so busy I’ve never noticed the time, I’ve never thought ‘Only 2 more hours until I’m at home’, yet at the moment I’m glancing at the clock every 10 minutes and calculating how long it is until I can leave for the day.

However, I know that this will change and I need to hold onto that fact. Rather than writing another 3 paragraphs about how awful work is, I won’t. I want to remind myself of what’s good in my life and why I’m not the incompetent, horrible person that I’m feeling people are thinking I am, at work.

1. I’ve got amazing friends – My friends have been amazing. They’ve sent me postcards, they’ve sent me texts, they’ve sent me funny Facebook messages and are all really supportive. I feel a lot less alone than I would if I was going through this on my own.

2. I’ve got amazing sisters – My sisters are all brilliant. I spoke to one of them yesterday on the phone and she said it was a shame I failed the interview on Wednesday, however ‘it’s all good practice and you’ll find something soon’

3. I’ve got the worlds best Boyfriend – Well, I think I do :-) He’s been absolutely fantastic in listening to me and saying I’m awesome. It’s really nice to hear someone telling you that you’re a good person and that you do a good job at work.

4. I’ve got an awesome CV – I’m only 33 and I’ve got a LOT of experience in my area.

5. I’ve got 1 face to face interview confirmed, another face to face interview to be scheduled and I’ve just had a phone call from another recruiter about another job – This is all really positive!

6. My healthy eating is going really well – Despite all of the stuff that’s going on in my life, I’m still managing to eat healthily. This is the first time I’ve EVER done this in my entire life.

7. I’ve got a great weekend planned with my boyfriend and my friend – we’re off to an antiques auction and then I’ve got a really fun day out planned with my friend and I’m looking forward to catching up with her.

8.I’m in good health – After my wisdom tooth operation in January, I’ve not really had any aches or pains as such. Once my job issues are sorted, life should be a lot better and I won’t have anything to worry about.

I know there are many more reasons, but those are the main ones for me at the moment. Additionally, throughout all the crap, my lovely vegan work friend is being amazing as per usual and no matter how much stress I get, she’s always there to go to lunch with and make a cup of tea with me, which I really appreciate.

So far my eating today has been pretty normal – Porridge for breakfast and I brought the other half of the pot of houmous in from home, as well as another pepper, pita bread and tomatoes. Tonight, my lovely work friend and I are going to a mutual friends house (she also used to work with us) and will hopefully sit out in her garden and have a couple of hours of catching up and ‘goss’. Apparently our mutual friend has brought chips as well as other vegan food, which is really kind of her, however when I read the sentence ‘I’ve also bought chips’ in a message, I started to panic a little bit. Not eaten since lunch time? Hungry by 6pm? Nice hot chips being offered to me? MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF WILLPOWER REQUIRED.

I have decided to be a bit smart and at lunch time, lovely work friend and I headed out into the sunshine and whilst she bought lunch and some nibbles for tonight, I decided I’d buy a ‘raw brownie’ to eat at 3pm, so I shouldn’t be too hungry by the time we reach our friends house and therefore I shouldn’t overeat as I’m really hungry. After getting food, we went and sat out in the local park which was really, really nice – not only because we weren’t in the office, but the sun was shining, the flowers looked beautiful and all my work issues seemed so small in comparison to ‘the rest of the world’. Having eaten the brownie, I have to say, it was ‘OK’, but nowhere near as good as the Bakewell Tart nakd bars, so I still remain a convert :-)

Thankfully the afternoon hasn’t gone too badly today and with less than 1.5 hours to go, I’m going to head off to a meeting  and hope it lasts for ages so I can walk out into the glorious sunshine and enjoy a couple of really awesome days.

So much vegan food!

It's great having friends who have different lifestyles as you open your mind so much

Today is a good day as I'm not at work. Today is also a good day as I spent a lot of it with one of my lovely friends and we caught up on Geordie Shore episodes as well as watching 'The secret world of Tinder' 'My 600lb life' and 'Louis Therox and extreme bodybuilding'. We also ate A LOT of food and as she's been vegan for years, it was all vegan - so no meat or dairy at all.

You could tell it would be a day of food after she brought some amazing hummus and hummus chips with her - They are utterly delicious and munching them watching Geordie Shore was bliss. Thing is, just because it's vegan, it doesn't mean it's 'healthy', so I did try and maintain some willpower when eating them - I was getting hungry as it was near lunch which didn't help. I think it's one thing to not buy something that looks good in the supermarket, however it's so much harder not to eat something that looks good when it's in your living room and your friend is saying 'I brought this over for us'.

Lunch consisted of vegan sweet potato and butternut squash moroccan tagine with giant couscous. I've done this recipe loads before with chicken, so by substituting the chicken with the sweet potato and the chicken stock cube with a vegan stock cube, hey presto... you've got a lovely and very tasty lunch! (I'm sure the taste was helped by the fact we were watching 2 gay guys find some 'fun' on Tinder whilst dressed in leather.... we do LOVE our crazy documentaries on Channel 5!)

After lunch, I suggested we try and do something with the rhubarb my Mother had given me as I really want to use it up - We decided on a cake. We looked for a lot of recipes and most of the vegan rhubarb cake recipes used crumble on the top, so we gave it a go.... 

Most of the cake recipes we read used yeast... however it also said 'prove it for an hour' - both of us are quire impatient so we just used self raising flour and chucked a lot of baking powder in there, instead. 

We also used cocoa, which the recipe (we actually didn't really follow one, we just shoved loads of ingredients in the bowl) didn't suggest and popped some crumble on the top using some the 'Pure' vegan spread and self raising flour.. 

I have to say, it didn't turn out too badly. It was edible, however we didn't put any sugar into the crumble so it was a little tart and also a little bit tooooo crumbly! However, not a bad attempt considering we didn't really follow a recipe!

As I've got tomorrow off as well, I'm thinking of meal planning in the morning and going shopping for what I need - I genuinely do much better with my healthy eating when I'm able to meal plan, I also find a waste a lot less food. Happy Bank Holiday Monday!

Certain Quorn products aren't revolting

Some Quorn products actually seem to taste nicer than meat

I'm a meat eater - I've been able to 'go vegetarian' for months at a time to try new recipes and I don't mind at all as I like vegetables, however I always go back to meat. About 10 years ago, I thought all the 'non-meat' products were disgusting - the sausages tasted bland and had the texture of sawdust and tofu was just a rubbery, squidgy 'thing' that you could use to bulk up stir-frys.

However, I decided to try some of the newer Quorn products and some of them are absolutely gorgeous. I have to say, I still think the sausages have a way to go and I don't really like them, however the Quorn 'Mozzarella and Pesto' fillets are lovely and I've eaten them on many occasions. As they can be stuck in the freezer and only take 20 minutes in the oven, I decided to eat one of those tonight, with some of the lovely fresh vegetables I got in my Friday delivery from Riverford.

Yum, yum, yum - I got lovely fresh spinach, carrots and some potatoes which I peeled and made 'Home made chips'. It was lovely and I really made sure I tasted my food, as opposed to just eating it really fast. 

I always like something sweet at about 9:30pm - I don't know why, I just do. I've been really trying to keep my cravings in check, so bought 3 of these 'NAKD bars' from Tescos as they were doing a '3 for 2' offer. They're Vegan and come in really nice flavours

I think tonight I'll try the Rhubarb and Custard one!

So todays' food has been:

B - Porridge
L - M&S Turkey, Pastrami and Emmental wrap and Honey BBQ wholegrain snacks
D - Quorn Mozzarella and Pesto escalope with fresh veg

Snack - One of the lovely bars on the left.

I'm quite happy with that - Roll on the weekend!

Wicked Wednesday

Today has been a good day...

Despite it being incredibly windy (which meant I had to sleep downstairs on the sofa as unfortunately when it's windy my house emits a weird 'meeeeeaaaaah' kind of high pitch screaming sound which keeps me awake) today has been pretty good, both in terms in work and what I shoved in my gob.

Breakfast was the obligatory porridge and blueberries, followed by a cheeky Marks and Spencer Fuller for Longer Turkey, Pastrami and Emmental Cheese Flatbread / Honey Barbecue Wholegrain Snacks for lunch and for dinner, I made vegan red lentil and squash dhal - As I have only recently made a dhal it wouldn't have been my first choice, however tonight I had my lovely vegan friend round, so we munched on that whilst watching our favourite show 'Geordie Shore' :-) 

I've made it quite a lot of times before and it stores in the fridge really well - You can find the recipe here: http://www.bbcgoodfood.com/recipes/red-lentil-squash-dhal

Whilst it's only been two days, I'm still feeling extraordinarily motivated and keen to continue my healthy eating. I've read quite a lot of weight loss blogs and one thing that has stuck in my head is that I shouldn't use food to reward myself - So I've decided that if I can continue to healthy until the end of the month, I'm going to get false eyelashes again - I think most people think 'drag queen' when you say false eyelashes and to be honest, the first time I had them done - that's how I felt, as I had some that were far too long and I felt really self concious. However, I thought I may as well try again and the 'technician' (yup, apparently they are called eyelash technicians!) listened to me and gave me quite short ones which I really liked and I actually felt more positive about myself.

And that's kinda how I want to feel all the time - good about myself.... 

And if it's going to take a good few months, or even years, to get down to the size I'd like - I may as well focus on other things to make me feel good about myself, whilst still continuing to eat healthy!