Awesome weekend

It's been a really good few days and I'm hoping next week continues in the same vein.

I'm now sat in a North London flat, with 2 black cats as I'm cat sitting for one of my sisters. My entire family (sisters, parents, niece, sisters boyfriends / Husband) are all on holiday in the Scilly Isles so I'm looking after my sisters 2 cats until they come back on Sunday.

It's been a good few days. My hormones and all symptoms seem to have just, well.. stopped. I am feeling much more like 'me' again, I don't have any slight cramping, my chest isn't as sore and I don't feel sick in the slightest. On one hand, it's great, on the other, I have no idea what's going on inside me, however I guess I only have to wait until next Thursday and then I'll find out.

Friday was a good day at work as there was only one work colleague in the office with me - I got a lot of work done and existed on a 'yogurty oat pot' with orange juice for breakfast and a salmon donburi with multi grain rice for lunch. After getting home, I really, really fancied a curry, so ordered a really nice Chicken korma with pilau rice and a saga-loo - It was absolutely delicious and I really enjoyed it.  I had a really lazy Friday night in front of the TV and by 10:00pm, I was in the bath, before snuggling up in my bed and sleeping for quite a long time. 

Saturday morning I changed my sheets, did some chores, did a spot of food shopping and then drove to the station to pick up my friend from Wales. She's the friend who had a gastric band a few years ago and is now 6.5 months pregnant (different to my gastric band friend), I met her when I used to work as a Consultant on a project in South Wales and we became really good friends as she's as mental as I am :-) 

It was absolutely lovely seeing her and we just talked and talked and talked all weekend - We went back home first of all so I could get my washing out of the machine and hang it up, then we headed into London and went to the Sea Life centre. I grabbed some sushi from Wasabi before I got there for breakfast / lunch and we waited about 45 minutes in a queue before we bought the tickets and went in. Despite it being a very busy Saturday afternoon and waiting in a line for a while, it was actually pretty good and a lot better and more clean than I remember it being when I went about 12 years ago with an ex boyfriend. 

We spent a good couple of hours wandering around, looking at all the fish and before I knew it, I had the notifications by 'S health' on my phone that I'd walked 10,000 steps and had been active for 90 minutes. Despite my friend being 6.5 months pregnant, she didn't really look pregnant, she actually just looked a bit overweight. I obviously didn't say that to her, but she did say she thought she didn't really have a bump but as she had loose skin from the 7 stone she had lost from the gastric band, she had 'kinda grown back into her body' but obviously this is a temporary thing as opposed to her just eating too much.

After Sea Life, my friend said she really wanted to go to 'Chocky Wocky Do Dah' as she used to watch the show and really wanted to go to the shop. I have heard of the show but don't really know much about it, however as she was my guest and I really had no problem going anywhere, we headed off to the place. It was rather full and the chocolate was rather expensive, however they certainly sell some interesting cakes! We put our name down for a table upstairs in the coffee shop and were told it would be about a 25 minute wait, so wandered around the shop, seeing it there was anything nice we could buy - I found a lovely chocolate yellow bath duck, which I bought for my boyfriend as a Christmas present :-)

When we were called upstairs, we had a really nice table by the window and I ordered a 'Chocky Wocky Sundae' and she ordered a '6 cake slice'. My sundae was amazing, however way too much chocolate and my friend only ate 1/3rd of her cake. One of the nice things about buying the cake is, they offer you boxes for free so you can take it home with you so my friend actually finished the cake for tea!

No more cake or food for us! After that, we headed back to the tube station and started our journey home, getting back at about 7pm. I did suggest we spend the rest of the evening watching crazy TV, however we actually just talked and talked and talked and it was so nice - My friend is also scared (it's her first baby) and when it kicks her, she says 'it's weird and freaky', she also says she doesn't feel she wants to be tied to the baby constantly and wants her Husband to co-parent and look after the baby too - Is this really so weird? When we were on the sofa, she shouted 'Oh F**k!' and her stomach just moved! She said 'He's kicking me' (she knows it's a boy) and sure enough, her stomach was just moving.... It was so odd...

Today we both drove over to my Boyfriends house and had breakfast (I had 2 slices of honey on seeded toast) before I drove her back to the train station so she could head back to Wales. My boyfriend and I then drove to Argos to get a canvas wardrobe so my Boyfriend could move all his clothes from his big spare room into his bedroom in preparation for me to move in. We actually did really well and have now cleared out a whole bedroom! We celebrated by driving 2 hours to North London and having sushi for dinner before cuddling on my sisters Sofa, watching 'Have I got news for you' before my Boyfriend said goodbye and headed back home.

I know I've eaten out a *lot* in the last few days and as I'm now living at my sisters house for the next 3 nights (I'm heading back for one night on Wednesday as I've got my midwifes appointment on Thursday morning) I don't really have much food to eat at the moment (although I have found some new Soreen bars to try for Breakfast!). I'm going to try and get a good nights sleep tonight and find a local supermarket so I can at least make something healthy tomorrow night and not exist on more restaurant / takeaway food.

I'm not going to lie - I'm still in two minds about continuing the pregnancy. I think I've made up my mind and then I will read or hear something and then swing the other way, however at the moment, I just need to try and wait until Thursday when at least I will know what's currently happening within me, so I can discuss all options with the midwife and really try and work out what is best for my Boyfriend and myself.

Less than 4 days to go!

A very chilled Friday night with good news

I am really glad it's Friday

It's been quite a stressful week in some ways - although still nowhere near as stressful as it's been in the last few months. I guess the 'big' news is, that I don't seem to be pregnant which I'm incredibly relieved about this month. As I said before, my Boyfriend and I are of the 'If it happens, it happens' mindset - However if it had happened this month, I wouldn't have been eligible for enhanced maternity at work... and as that's 90% of your salary for 3 months... that would have been a real issue. Not the end of the world, but it will make things a lot easier now. My period is still late, but I think that's just due to the fact I started my new job a few weeks ago, so I think that threw things out a bit.

In terms of healthy eating - today I have mostly been eating... Japanese! I had a banana and malt loaf for breakfast, followed by a salmon donburi for lunch - I went to a new Japanese place for lunch with one of my colleagues and it was really nice. I opted for their 'brown rice and lentils' donburi for £0.50 more, and it was incredibly yummy. 

After work, I took a trip to Picadilly circus to grab more sushi from the Japan Centre and not only got a chicken teryaki don, but also got 3 inari pockets (tofu pockets with rice) but a raspberry and chocolate mochi, which is kinda like a raspberry rice ball, with chocolate inside of it - it's quite small (you can eat it in 2 bites), but incredibly nice.

As I took a detour after work, I didn't actually get back until 7pm and I was really tired - travelling on an extra 3 tubes after work really takes it out of you and I guess I'm still not really used to commuting on the tube in London, at rush hour - especially on a Friday!

I'm now on my sofa, snuggled up in my PJ's and massive bath robe with my slippers on and feeling quite chilled and relaxed. My Boyfriend's parents are now down and they've all gone out for dinner (which I was thoughtfully invited to) however as I had sushi and am rather tired, I'll just see them tomorrow instead.

After I blogged last night, I decided I'd try some of the suit trousers on that my friend gave me a few weeks ago as they were too big for her - I thought they'd be too tight for me, and indeed a couple were - however one suit fits PERFECTLY, I'm actually really surprised but happy that one looks fantastic, so I now have a new grey and white striped suit to wear for work... I recall it being slightly tight when I tried it on at my friends house so that suggests I've lost weight? Urgh.. I want to weigh myself but I will try to resist - especially as I'm probably only 1-2 days off having my period, the worst time to weigh yourself, ever!

It really does seem to be getting colder now, so I think for the rest of the evening I'm going to put some candles on, and snuggle into my bath robe even more and start the count down to my holiday to Mexico! Less than 2 weeks to go :-)

A bank holiday is not excuse to eat badly..

.. Unless you want to, that is.

If someone 'preached' to me that I should eat a certain way, I'd tell them where to go - and as I want to do everything in moderation, if I had wanted to eat something unhealthy for a change, then I would have. However, I'm feeling really motivated at the moment and this was spurred on even further when I got dressed this morning and wore a purple top that I've not worn in about a month. A month ago, it looked OK, but my stomach looked kinda 'bulgy', even when I was wearing my famous 'fat pants', however not only does it look a lot flatter (sadly I'm not confident enough to wear it without wearing my fat pants), but the belt I bought a little while ago is now on its last hole and is actually getting too loose.

I'm still not going to weigh myself for a while as I need to stop being obsessed with the scales, however I'm in a really good place with my head.. my job... my life and I want this to continue. So today I got up early and decided to go in London. What's that? go into London? On a Bank Holiday weekend? Are you mad? Actually, I got a seat on the train really easily and managed to wander around quite happily, going to all the places I wanted to without any trouble at all.

I was going to go to the Nottinghill Carnival, however I'd heard one of my new work colleagues tell me it was quite rough. I also read up on how busy it was and looked at the weather forecast. So, I decided to change my mind but go into London anyway for a bit of a mooch around. 

One of the things I did was go to the National Portrait Gallery. Breakfast was a slice of malt loaf and a banana and after scoffing that and drinking a cup of tea, I headed to the train station and subsequently, to the gallery. Bearing in mind it was a weekend, it was fairly quiet and I spent a good 1.5 hours just walking around the paintings and reading the descriptions. Some of them were fairly famous - Like the ones of Henry VIII and Anne Boley - I think I remember seeing them in some of my GCSE history books when I was at school.

I didn't realise how much I'd walked, however after 1.5 hours it was nearing lunch time and I felt rather hungry and thirsty. I went down to the cafe and had a cup of tea. It was hard not to order any cake, however I managed it and felt very virtuous, sipping my tea and whatsapping my sister about her date tonight (His name is Ben... she's met him 3 times and he seems really nice apparently. I've nicknamed him 'Triple B' as in 'Big Boy Benny'... apparently she's told him this and he finds it funny) 

Lunch was an easy one - straight to the Japan Centre for some sushi... I got enough so that I could eat it tonight as well. I love sushi, it's even more tasty when you're not the one making it yourself! Tamago nigiri (egg sushi),  A crispy chicken seaweed triangle, Inari pockets (Tofu pocket with seasoned rice inside) and for dinner... It was a vegetable and prawn tempura pot with more rice.. 

I then went and wandered around Covent Garden and did a spot of shopping as it was my friends Birthday last week and I'm seeing her on Wednesday so whilst I had a temporary reprieve of buying her a present, I wanted to buy her something personal and London was the best place to achieve it! I went into Foyles and found her a lovely book of the Irish coast (she's from Ireland). Stunning photos and lots of history behind the places - She's from Cork and it had one section about Cork, so fingers crossed she likes it :-)

After more wandering around I headed home - I checked my 'S Health' app on my phone and it told me I'd walked 13,000 steps (over 10km) which had apparently burnt off 555 calories. Whilst that's awesome, I don't want to fall into the trap of thinking 'Oh well, I've got another 555 calories I can use up on chocolate', so just stuck to my sushi tonight and am now in my PJ's, about to watch another horror film.

Imogens review for 'Robert' - Pretty crap. Kinda more like Eastenders than a typical horror film. You could tell it was done on a very low budget in England and the 'scariest' thing was seeing the cameraman in the mirror in one of the bath scenes at the end, as well as seeing the reflection of other camera people in the reflection on the cooker in the kitchen. The doll is kind of creep, but the best acting is done by the child, which means you have no sympathy for either of the parents (whilst it wasn't said, I swear the Dad was shagging the secretary) and the Mum's constant moaning and simpering meant I just wanted her to get killed by the doll ASAP.

I'm now about to watch 'Invoked'.. Hopefully this one is better! 

Healthy Sashimi

4 days to go and counting

Breakfast: Oats so Simple Golden Syrup porridge pot

Lunch: Wagamama chicken ramen

Dinner: Cucumber sushi, salmon and beef sashimi, cooked prawns and egged sushi rice.

Snacks: No snacks today

Today was the last Monday I’ll ever spend in the office and so far, I’m not feeling any sadness at all. Once again, I’ve not had any work to do and as my Boss was sat next to me, I managed to find ‘stuff’ to do, which made it look like I wasn’t browsing random forums for most of the day. Whilst I have now concluded that I am, ‘officially bored of porridge’, I still have 5 pots of the stuff to use up, so had a pot for breakfast whilst talking to my lovely work colleague.

Last night, lovely work colleague and I went to the Cinema to watched ‘Ted 2’ – It was OK, a couple of funny ‘Heh’ moments in it, however I wouldn’t say it was an Oscar winning film by any standards. Lovely work colleague was telling me about a festival she went to and how she kissed her tattooist :-) Apparently it’s not going to go anywhere, but she seemed happy enough, so good for her, if you’re single, why not?

I don’t know if I’m unusual, however if my period is late, I always find that it’s heavier in general and sadly this month it looks like one of the SAW Horror films down there. Whilst I’m pretty un-phased about this, having had periods since I was 9 (If I have any daughters, it would be nice if they could start puberty later, I think starting so early was rather rubbish) the constant stomach ache has been rather unpleasant. 

In the ‘before time’, I’d usually console myself with chocolate or ‘treat’ myself to a takeaway as I was feeling a bit down in the dumps, however I’m still trying not to use food as an emotional crutch, so when I went to Wagamamas with my lovely work colleague and another work colleague (who is lovely, but we’re not as close) I stuck to ordering and eating my usual – the Chicken ramen dish which is one of the healthiest main dishes you can order.

After lunch, I took a quick detour so that I could grab a couple of things at Tescos, as I had another friend coming over after work and wanted to cook her some ‘Japanese awesomeness’ and with Japanese dishes, the fresher = the better. The rest of the afternoon was rather dull, so I made the time go faster by researching what my Boyfriend and I could do this weekend as we’re going away for a night…. Not that he knows where, as it’s still a secret :-) I found a Bee Farm nearby to where we’re staying and some really nice National Trust properties – so noted down the postcodes for Saturday and Sunday.

I left work at 4:30 as 'Why not?' and as soon as I got home, I started making the sushi rice as you need to let it stand for a minimum of 45 minutes before you can work with it. As my friend is also trying to eat healthy I thought I make her a sushi / sashimi dish with some extra rice and egg on the side. I kind of made it up as I went along, however I think it looks pretty awesome.

Tomorrow I'm working from home, so I plan to have a long lie in and then see how productive I can be tomorrow. As I'm officially still working, I'm mostly bound to my house and if any emails come in, I will of course, answer them.. However apart from that? Hrm.. I might try and sort out my kitchen cupboard which is rather crowded at the moment... Rock and Roll!

Take.. THAT!

Yesterday was the first day since I started this blog that I didn't post anything

I thought that might be the case as I was completely non stop and didn't actually get back home until after midnight :-) 

My morning started off really well as I had a telephone interview at 08:00 so I decided to eat my breakfast (porridge) at home and chat to the interviewer on the phone before heading into work. I somehow seemed to have nailed the interview as he said 'I know you need to go soon, but I'm really enjoying our chat' and affirmed on the phone he'd like to take it forward to meet me face to face. I felt really happy as it was more 'evidence', I guess, that I'm not as useless as I'm currently feeling at work and once again, it was as if more doors were opening with a big green 'exit' sign on them, showing me that there are ways out of being unhappy.

Not getting into work until 9:00am was weird, as I'm usually at my desk at 7:45, however the morning went quickly and at lunch time my friend and I went for a walk to the post office and then grabbed some food on the way back. I have to say, I'm a little disappointed with myself for my choices. They're hardly the worst things to put in your body, however I didn't plan beforehand and didn't feel it was as unprocessed as I'd like it to be. 

The afternoon went quite quickly as well as despite my Boss being in again - I managed to mostly avoid him which was good. Seeing him every single day this week has been so mentally tough as I've had to put on such a 'mask' and pretend I'm happy / motivated etc, when looking at his diary he seems to have booked another 6 hour shagathon important work meeting with my female colleague to discuss another one of my business areas. However, I have a feeling this may all come to a head soon as I have my annual appraisal next Tuesday, so watch this space, I guess....

I left work early and walked to the train station as I was going to see... TAKE THAT! at the O2 in London with my boyfriend. Here's the thing, despite being incredibly stubborn and very obstinate, I seem to be incredibly susceptible to marketing - Usually when it involves the use of cute animals trying to sell something (I'm so proud of myself for not buying hundreds of packets of McVities biscuits after watching the cute kittens come out of the packet) however after Christmas, I was on my sofa, alone, drinking wine and an advert for Take That comes on and I think 'Cool, I've seen them twice before and they were good, so let's go again' - Texted my boyfriend and he said 'sure', and so here we are...

We got to London easily enough and I ran to the 'usual' sushi place to pick up my dinner whilst he went to Marks and Spencers and got an awful lot of meat (as he's now in full-swing low carb diet mode). Once dinner was acquired, we headed to North Greenwich and sat in the sun eating our respective dinners. I think I bought a tad too much dinner, however in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't too bad - 4 salmon nigiri, 4 tamago (egg) nigiri, one salmon rice triangle, one prawn tempura wrap and a custard pancake. I think the custard pancake made me go from comfortable to 'full', which is a feeling I'm trying to avoid as much as possible.

Queuing up and getting into the O2, I didn't remember the seats being so small - I know I'm overweight, but wow - these were SMALL. We got there before the doors opened, so were sitting down for a good hour before Ella Henderson came on. I didn't know who she was at first, however after a couple of her more famous songs including Ghost which I have to admit, I rather like - the crowd really seemed to perk up and get more excited. 

Then it was time for Take That - They were good, but having seen them twice in Wembley when they had 4 and 5 members of their band, seeing only 3 of them on stage felt a little sad and I don't think it had as much 'wow' factor in it. We were sat near the end of a row and the women to my left KEPT getting up and wanting to get drinks / go to the toilet and it was driving me crazy as we obviously had to stand up too, to let them out. My back started to really hurt half way through and the tiny, uncomfortable seats didn't do much to appease it, sadly.

It was a good night and I don't regret paying the ticket price, however my boyfriend agreed that the other two shows he had been to, were better. I'd still go and see them again, however if they were in the O2, I think it would actually be better if we bought standing tickets!

After the first encore, we did a very quick march back to the tube, back to the station and then back home on the train. We got back home just after midnight and I fell in bed (well, delicately placed myself in bed, to try to avoid injuring my back any further :-)) and I woke up this morning at 8:30. 

I'm still in bed, with a nice cup of tea, listening to the birds tweet in the trees and am looking forward to not only eating my kipper for breakfast (one of the '5 for £5' ones I bought at the BBC Good Food Show last weekend) but also seeing two of my friends this weekend for a well overdue catch up. As one of my friends isn't arriving until 1pm, I am going to have a fantastically lazy morning, doing a few chores, food shopping but most of all, enjoying the fact I'm not at work :-)

It's the little things...

Off to sunny London I go....

Today has been productive, if not slightly stressful. I am really feeling the effects of a 5 day week as I've had so much holiday recently, I've not actually been in the office for a full week for about - 7 weeks? so this week has felt incredibly long and stressful. 

I knew I'd be going to London today as I had an afternoon meeting, so I didn't plan for lunch as knew I'd be grabbing some sushi at the Japan Centre before heading over to the office. In an attempt to 'spice up' my breakfast, rather than the traditional blueberries, I bought some raspberries and added some of them to my porridge - It was nice, however raspberries seem to disintegrate quite a lot, so you're left with completely red porridge, which is different at the very least, I guess. 

As it's been getting hotter and hotter, it becomes harder for me to 'hide' my body - At least in the winter I can hide in baggy jumpers, cardigans and coats. In the summer it's harder as it's so hot I have a choice: Be incredibly sweaty, uncomfortable and look slightly odd as I'm dressed for winter or wear a lot less layers, be comfortable in regards to heat, but feel really uncomfortable within myself as I'm more 'exposed'. I chose the latter, so only wore a shirt today, however decided to put a cardigan in my handbag as a comfort blanket - If I felt too exposed, at least I could start to put more layers on again and retreat inside myself. 

I seem to go through an automated process when I wake up. Wake up, get up, have a shower, get dressed, clean teeth, brush hair, put on jewellery and perfume, go to work...  This morning I followed the exact same process, except when I put on my jeans and did up my belt - hang on, why does it appear longer? why is the end flapping around my right hand side? It doesn't usually do that..... It turns out that I'm now on my last hole in my belt, something that's not been the case for a good few months and it's not too tight - Wow, that's pretty awesome. 

After a couple of hours in the office, I was ready to head to London - The train station was eerily quiet at 11;00am and I easily got a seat and headed up to London. I also got an email from a recruiter, asking if I could have a telephone interview tomorrow morning which, whilst short notice, was instantly a 'yes' as I'm still desperate to leave my current company.  Despite it being really hot in London, I wasn't too sweaty for once, even when going on the tube - I go only assume it's because I was wearing a normal amount of clothes for the weather and wasn't hiding in a jumper or a cardigan, I was actually surprised at how much difference it made - not to be burdened with extra layers and also, when I thought about it, I didn't feel too self concious, either. 

Lunch was 6 brown rice inari pockets and 3 salmon nigiri which was absolutely delicious - my meeting with my Boss and external people didn't go too badly either (that's 4 days in a row I've had to see him... Why God, Why?) and after another 45 minute meeting with a colleague, I headed back to the main train station to meet my Management Coach. 

Picture a 'friendly Grandfather', someone who is always jolly, has a really lovely personality and who you really feel you can talk to - Like a surrogate Father, if you will - That's my Management Coach and he's a really intelligent and inciteful man who has helped me through a lot of tough times in my company. I've been totally honest with him about what's been happening within the company and he's been amazing at listening and offering support and advice - the main advice being, 'Get out... get a good job somewhere else', which I've accepted is without a doubt, what I need to do.

So today was 'Interview techniques', we went through a number of different scenarios and I seemed to do OK - he gave me a few pointers, including 'Don't say 'We' too much, say 'I' and ensured I have a lot of examples of my skills, so I can demonstrate what I can do. I felt really good after having a long conversation with him and headed back home, sightly nervous about the telephone interview tomorrow, but also excited as it may be another door starting to open....

Dinner was a very tasty pork katsu don (pork, egg and rice dish) and that's all I had as it was quite large. Now I'm sat on my sofa in my pyjamas, watching another episode of Hannibal. 

I think today has been about the little things that are now happening to me, which hopefully will make up bigger things and become more normal.

• I liked the fact I'm now using the last hole on my belt

• I liked the fact I didn't cover myself up and get too hot and didn't feel too self concious

• I liked the fact I got more interest in my CV and have a telephone interview tomorrow

• I liked the fact I met my Management Coach and he gave me more confidence in myself 

I also like the fact I'm not snacking in the evenings any more. I had my dinner and I'm full - I really hope I can keep this up. If I'm not hungry... I don't need to eat something.

Roll on Friday and definitely roll on the weekend :-)

Jurassic World

I don't think I think like normal people

After work, I travelled to meet my boyfriend at the cinema as we were going to go and watch 'Jurassic World'. I can't say I'm a massive Jurassic Park fan, however it had got good reviews and we hadn't been to the cinema together for months, so I suggested it and we agreed to go today, after work.

As my boyfriend is now healthy eating, it makes it harder to go to restaurants as he's doing things very differently to me - Unlike myself, who's simply watching what she eats and not eating too high fat or calorie foods, my boyfriend has opted for the Atkins approach, so very low carb and lots of protein e.g. meat! We decided we'd buy separate food, so he bought frankfurters, cheese and random Italian meats from Marks and Spencers, whilst I went to Yo! Sushi and bought a large fish sushi box. We sat near the cinema and munched our dinner whilst catching up on stuff and generally chatting.  I have to say, I'd never bought a Yo! Sushi box before and it was actually really nice - the fish was very fresh and it had some maki, some sashimi, nigiri and even a California roll :-)

Heading to the cinema, I had a compulsion to buy some fizzy sweets - not a lot, but I really wanted a something sweet. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on how you look at it) there was noone at the counter and I didn't think you could do the 'pick and mix' on one counter and then move over to the other one to purchase your tickets - By the time we'd got to the front, someone had come back to the counter, however by that point I'd decided that I didn't need them, so we went into the cinema with no food whatsoever.

I don't think I think like normal people as I really didn't like the film. I felt sorry for the 'laboratory made dinosaur' as it wasn't its fault it was a killing machine as noone had given it any love - I also felt really sorry for the velociraptors who showed a lot of loyalty to the Guardians of the Galaxy Dude, yet most of them met their end in a horrible way (like being burnt on a BBQ)... and at the end - only one is left, yet their a pack animal! It's going to be lonely :-(

I appreciate they're not real, however the film seemed to favour people, when actually, it was people who forced them into stupid enclosures and bred them etc.. I was kinda hoping all the guys with guns would get eaten and all the dinosaurs would live in harmony, but sadly that didn't happen.

I don't think my boyfriend was too impressed either, so we headed home and here I am, sat on my sofa watching the second season of 'Hannibal', eating a pack of Marks and Spencers Moroccan spiced chickpea shells and psyching myself up to go to the London office tomorrow for various meetings with my Boss. I have seen him 3 days in a row to date, tomorrow will be number 4.... Joy :-S 

I didn't expect that.....

Well, there's a to-do...

Having slept very badly last night (waking at 02:11, and 4:31 and not getting back to sleep after 5:45...) due to worrying about my interview today, I got dressed, ate my porridge and got ready whilst the voice in the back of my head kept saying to me 'You could just not go to London, you could watch Game of Thrones all day in your Pyjamas' Even when I was on the train to London and got on the tube, my mind was still saying to me that I was kidding myself, that I wasn't technical, or even good enough to pass the interview and that the last 5 years have been a fluke.

I think my brain works in the same way regarding food: That I can't possibly get slim, I am rubbish at losing weight and I'm just a fat person in general. Why don't I just accept it and eat another large chocolate bar? Why am I kidding myself I can succeed this time? 

I've come to the conclusion that my brain can be a total arse at times.

After getting to the companies address, I was met by a really lovely and friendly HR person. Despite the recruiter screwing up the date / time, they still accommodated me and I did the 90 minute technical test.....Oddly, I thought I did OK. Even more oddly, so did they and whilst other people were thanked for their time and told that they wouldn't be progressing their application further, I was interviewed by a very friendly, technical person who decided to grill me on various I.T. architectures.. For some reason, I didn't panic, nor freak out at any point and it seemed to go rather well. 

They thought so as well, as apparently they are suggesting I come back for the 'second round' of interviews as I left at 1:30pm...

I feel elated and really proud of myself - Suddenly the burden on my shoulders over my horrible workplace seems a little less, almost as if a door has partially opened and given me a genuine exit strategy. It's a really nice feeling - So is the fact that I may not be as useless as I think I am.

I hadn't eaten when I left the Company, so I decided to go the my favourite place in London - The Japan Centre, and buy a LOT of sushi. As I was hungry by the time I go there, I went into my usual overdrive and bought way too much. I was thinking 'I did well this morning, I deserve a chocolate pancake', however actually managed to stop myself before putting it in the basket as I shouldn't be rewarding myself with treats (plus, if you remember, I managed to find out how many calories and fat a chocolate pancake was.. and it was a lot!).

Despite buying way too much sushi, on the train, I listened to my body and only ate 6 pieces of sushi, stopping after each one and a custard pancake, which I assumed would be more healthy than the chocolate one. Hrm... Looking it up on my fitness pal suggests it's 325 calories and 6g of fat. That's an awful lot of calories for a pancake - Why are so many tasty things so high in calories? :-(

As for the fate of the rest of the sushi, I'm going to eat it tonight and tomorrow for lunch, meaning that I'm not going to waste it, nor am I going to overeat tonight. I'm back in the office tomorrow and tonight, I'll be watching random TV and feeling chuffed about my success today :-)

Northumberland - Day 3

An Edinburgh Adventure beckons

Since we planned to visit my Boyfriend's parents, we knew we'd take advantage of the close proximity of Scotland and go up to Edinburgh for a day. I had booked a 1:30pm 'City of the dead' underground ghost walk so we planned the day around that, deciding to get up early and head up to Edinburgh for 10:00am so we could visit Holyrood House.

Thankfully there was minimal traffic between 8:30am and 10:00am on the A1 and the parking wasn't too bad either, therefore we were able to park right next to the Palace and head straight in. The wind was bitter and incredibly strong, so we were grateful to be inside the palace, looking around all the beautiful rooms and listening to the free audio guide we were given. Unlike Kensington Palace in London, there were numerous antiques and display cabinets full of beautiful curiosities and we spent a good hour walking around, before happening upon a ruined abbey.

Now I've never, ever been particularly bothered about marriage - relationships, yes, fine, but marriage? Not really fussed as I've always been financially independent and even if I had children, I wouldn't want that to stop. Saying that, if I ever was to get married, I've always said it would be a ruined abbey, or somewhere that's very Gothic, at about 7pm on a Summers evening - Oh, and I'd wear a black wedding dress and have blood red roses and white lilies in my bouquet :-) The ruined abbey at Holyrood house was beautiful and exactly what I'd want. Sadly my Boyfriend said he doubted we'd be able to get married there, so it remains a pipe dream!

After walking around the gold exhibit in the building opposite the House, we got back in the car and parked it in central Edinburgh, much closer to the Cathedral, where we were meeting our guide at 1:30pm. It was already midday and my stomach was rumbling like crazy and had started to hurt a little bit as I'd only had my obligatory porridge and blueberries for breakfast and as we got up rather early, that was devoured at 7:30, so a few hours previous...

Finding healthy food in a City you're unfamiliar with can be rather hard and after looking at the food court and only seeing 'Spud U like' as the option (the rest being pizza, KFC, Chinese food) we decided to Google 'Sushi in Edinburgh' and found a restaurant 10 minutes walk away called 'Tangs'. This was great, except it was up a steep hill, followed by over 100 steep steps, so by the time we had reached the top, and indeed, the restaurant, I was rather out of breath and ravenous - It certainly hammered home the point that I was not as fit as I have been in the past and should keep up my promise to exercise at least once a week in the gym.

Despite being really hungry, I think I ordered quite sensibly, opting for a couple of portions of nigiri and some salmon skin maki (my boyfriend had half of these) and I opted for chicken teriyaki with rice for my main dish. 

It tasted absolutely lovely, however I was mindful of the fact that the chicken had arrived with skin on it - Whilst it was really flavoursome, I made the decision to take it off, and give it to my Boyfriend who was only too happy to help :-) I didn't need the skin and it's the most fatty part of the chicken. After eating half of the sushi and the chicken teriakyi, I felt a lot less hungry, but still felt I could eat more, which is perfect, right? 

After a lovely lunch, we headed to the Cathedral to meet our guide, only for me to check my phone and realise that I'd booked the tour for Friday and today was Saturday! Whoops.... Thankfully the tour guide didn't mind at all and we were able to join in and get spooked. After a brief introduction as to why the Scottish wear tartan, we headed to the underground city and learnt about the poor people who had to live in incredibly squalid conditions if they couldn't afford any other lodging and about the ghosts of the people who have died down there. 

I can't say I saw anything supernatural, however the guide certainly made it entertaining and managed to scare a few of our group during her talk :-) 

Back out in the fresh air, we headed back to the car, past the beautiful cathedral, trying to avoid the rain and the wind (and failing miserably). We're now back in Northumberland, recovering from the wind and the copious amounts of walking we did today - over 10,000 steps, get in! Once we've had a nice cup of tea, we're off out for dinner and I hope I'll be able to continue my healthy eating for our last night in Northumberland.

Northumberland - Day 1

Looks like we brought the sunshine with us

Today has been absolutely fantastic so far. We managed to drive to Northumberland in less than 5.5 hours yesterday, so arrived at my partners parents house at 11:30pm. I was actually quite pleased with myself as I managed to drive over 2 hours in his large Audi, which is really different to my little Corsa.  As usual, we were welcomed with opened arms and spent the next hour and a half chatting to his parents in the living room. I'm really lucky as his Mother is absolutely lovely and so friendly - She knows I'm usually trying to eat heathily, therefore rather than buy any kind of 'junk' food, she went out and bought all kinds of fruit which was so thoughtful of her.

After heading to bed at 1:00am, I awoke at 7:00 and wandered next door to cuddle up to my boyfriend for a bit (his parents don't mind us sleeping together, but I'm such a light sleeper, I actually prefer having my own bed!) before we headed downstairs for the days excitement - Breakfast was my usual Porridge and blueberries, if you look at the photos on my last blog post you should see the 4 pots of porridge in my suitcase :-) 

My boyfriends Mother really likes feeding people and as I had brought my breakfast with me for the next 4 days, I think she wanted to make sure we were both completely full, so she made us a massive tupperware box of fruit and handed it to us before we went out the door. It smelt and looked amazing, however in my head I was thinking 'God, that's more fruit than I eat in 3 days, let alone 1' However, politely accepted it, said thank-you and was grateful it was fruit she was giving us and not chocolate or sausage rolls.

Once happily fed and watered, we headed out to Sea Houses to find an available boat tour so we could go to the Farne Islands and take photos of both puffins and seals and enjoy the fact that the sea looked beautiful, blue and most importantly - very calm! 

As we approached Sea Houses, it was clear to see that it was far busier than we've seen it before - I guess that's because it's June and usually, we go to Sea Houses in December or April (Christmas or Easter time) Thankfully we managed to park and went to see if we could buy tickets to go on the boat. Unfortunately, whilst waiting in the queue, I heard the woman telling another person in the queue that all the landing trips had completely sold out for today - there were only 'stay on the boat' trips left. As I really want to take photos of Puffins, this wasn't going to work for us, so we decided to put our names down for the boat trip tomorrow and change our plans as to what to do today.

On our way back, we went past Bamburgh, the beautiful castle to our right hand side on the hill. We had a quick wander on the beach and I suggested my boyfriend take a 'selfie' of us. This is actually quite a monumental moment as I really dislike how I look - I don't think I'm attractive in any way, shape or form so tend to prefer to be behind the camera, rather than in front of it. Oddly enough, I think it turned out really nicely, is this my brain changing how I feel about myself? maybe,.. I'd like to look at photos of us and think back to all the lovely things we've done in the past.

We also made a quick pit-stop for some kippers. I love kippers and the ones you can get from Craster are apparently rather famous, either way, they certainly taste delicious. Not only did I buy some in a packet, I decided to buy a 'kipper in a bun' for lunch. However, rather than just eating the bun, I just ate the kipper and gave my boyfriend the bun - He was only too happy to devour it, along with his 'crab in a bun' as well. I also bought some beef jerky to have for lunch - I appreciate it's hardly the most balanced of meals, however when you're out and about, it's hard to be completely prepared so I jumped at the chance of eating low fat protein, as opposed to opting for a scone, clotted cream and jam, which the cafe next door to the kipper shop was advertising.

As I was in the shop, I noticed a sign - 'Don't look down on others, unless you're trying to help them up', which I thought was really nice and also a good motto to live by. I dislike the fact people judge each other so much and I know I've been guilty of that in the past. 

Having devoured the kipper and jerky, we headed back to base camp to drop off the kippers (and the sausage rolls my boyfriend had bought for his parents) and headed out again to go to Vindolanda, which is a massive roman fort near Newcastle. The weather was still looking good and we made good use of the fact it was only 3:00pm when we arrived. 

The place was a lot bigger than we imagined - there was a really comprehensive museum, an absolutely huge site full of Roman ruins and also a really nice shop and cafe, all hidden in utterly beautiful surroundings. As we went round, I was really happy that I was spending my day with my boyfriend and not at the Hell hole, more commonly referred to as 'work'. 

We spent a good hour walking around and reading about what the different ruins were used for. I feel quite at home when it comes to the Romans as I went to a school that taught us Latin for 5 years, so I actually have a good idea what the Romans got up to and can pretend I'm super smart when translating the odd Latin word :-)

Despite not feeling it, we've done over 6,800 steps today, so the exercise isn't going too badly and I imagine there will be a few more tonight when we go out to an 'All you can eat' sushi restaurant. I know the words 'All you can eat' and 'Healthy eating' don't always go together, so I'm going to try and be very mindful of what, and indeed, how much, I'm eating. 

Kensington Palace and Poltergeists

Even the rain didn't spoil the day

Considering tomorrow is the first of June and technically 'Summer', it was incredibly rainy today. I went to London to see a friend who I haven't seen for ages. As she's got children and works, it's been hard trying to find a mutually convenient time, however today seemed to work for both of us. After meeting in Waterloo (and surviving the train journey with the 7 drunken teenagers drinking Stella at the table opposite me) we decided to go to Kensington Palace, wander round and catch up on life.

Getting there was pretty easy and it wasn't too busy which was surprising considering it was a weekend. £17.50 each, so not exactly the cheapest place in the world, but it was London. Whilst it was nice go round and investigate as I'd never been there before, I have to say it wasn't as good as Hampton Court - the rooms were very empty and didn't have much furniture or character in them - I assume that's because of the amount of visitors that come through the rooms and the fact that furniture would make it harder to walk around.

Despite Kensington Palace being 'meh', it was lovely catching up with my friend and despite not seeing her for ages, it didn't feel like any time had passed at all. After a nice cup of tea and a wander around the rest of the palace, we decided to grab some sushi for lunch at the Japan Centre - the one close to Picadilly Circus. 

I think I'm like 'proverbial kid in the sweet shop' when it comes to the Japan Centre, I love sushi and there's literally so much to choose from, it's scary. It's probably a good thing that there isn't one in Berkshire, otherwise I'd no doubt be buying food from there most days. I have my staple favourites - the tofu pockets (Inari) and the egg sushi (tamago), but the rest of the shopping basket is flexible. As I knew I wouldn't be getting back home until after 10:00pm, I also bought dinner from there and ended up with a lovely Chicken teriyaki don (chicken, rice, egg...). I thought I'd also buy a chocolate pancake (Doriyaki) for pudding and after we purchased all of our stuff, we decided to sit outside and eat our lunch as it was chucking it down from the sky.

Unfortunately, the sushi doesn't have calories, fat or any kind of nutritional information on it - so it's a bit of a mystery unless you look it up on the internet beforehand. I assumed this was also true for my chocolate pancake, however after consuming it, I actually saw that there were figures on the back of it - Hrm.. I have to say, I was shocked in regards to how many calories were in it, over 200! and nearly 9 grams of fat as well? Well, I enjoyed it, but once again it goes to show that I can be really ignorant when it comes to how many calories are in things and my 'educated guessing' isn't all that accurate.

After we had lunch, we realised that the rain really wasn't going to stop any time soon, so we headed back to Waterloo, had another coffee and then said our goodbyes - As she's got a Samsung Note 4 phone, she showed me how many steps we had done together - over 11,000 - Not bad for a days walking :-) After I got back home, I ate the rest of the Sushi for dinner before heading out to the cinema to meet my lovely Vegan work friend. She's also into horror movies so we had made a cinema date to watch Poltergeist. I was hoping it would be better than the film was saw the other month 'It follows' which seemed incredibly random and the bad 80's style music was very frustrating.

Turns out, it was rather scary and had both of us cringing behind our hands by the end of it, so missions accomplished. After driving her back home, I'm now writing this whilst in my PJ's and watching Family Guy before sorting out my breakfast for tomorrow and going to sleep before I go back to dreaded work tomorrow.

Thankfully only 2 days of work next week before I'm off to Northumberland with my lovely boyfriend to stay with his parents until Sunday. Thankfully, his parents are really, really nice and friendly, so I'm really looking forward to it. 

Tomorrow night I'm back at the gym - the first time in over 3 months! I'm actually slightly nervous, but know that once I've gone, it will be great and I'll feel really good, too.