What if there really isn't anything healthy?

Usually you can plan ahead, or bring something healthy with you - But what if you can't?

Today was a great day. Firstly, because I wasn't at work. Secondly because I went to Chelsea Flower Show with my Mother. 

This is something my Mother and I have done for the last 7 years and it's a really good chance to bond, catch up and basically spoil my Mother rotten. We have a good relationship but ever since I moved out of home at 18, we don't see each other a lot and so when we do, I like to try and spoil her.

If you ever get the chance to go to Chelsea Flower Show - Go! It's not cheap, but it's a really nice experience and the flowers and gardens are just beautiful. As per usual, my Mother and I spent hours just walking around the place and not only were there lovely things to see, there were also lovely things to smell and eat as well! Unfortunately, most of it was 'fish and chips' or 'pie and mash' so not exactly the most healthy food on the planet.

Every year, following the Flower Show, I take my Mother to a hotel for afternoon tea and this year was no exception. After trying both the Dorchester and the Ritz in the last 2 years, this year was the Waldorf Hilton's turn to host us with yummy sandwiches and delicious cakes.

However that's the issue - neither yummy sandwiches or delicious cakes are

really healthy and after being really, really motivated and on track for the last 2 weeks, I really didn't want to spoil it by putting high fat and high calorie food in my body. Usually, when I've been on track with my healthy eating and eat junk food, I automatically feel as if I've 'failed' as if 'What's the point? I may as well continue eating rubbish' and it's really, really self destructive. I doubt I'm the only one who feels that way?

I love my Mum so I want to treat her, the world doesn't revolve around me and I didn't want to tell her that I'd cancelled afternoon tea as it wouldn't be fair and it's hardly how life works - I mean, I can't go the rest of my life without eating any high fat or high calorie foods, can I? it's not sustainable and I don't want that. 

I could also refuse to eat - However that's not really sociable and wouldn't make my Mother feel overly comfortable. She'd try and eat as fast as possible and the whole thing would just be awkward - Why would I do that to her? It's supposed to be a nice day, also.. it's rather silly to pay a lot of money for afternoon tea and then not eat anything!

So, my thinking was:

1. Acceptance - I know I'm going to eat things that aren't healthy.

2. Planning - If I'm hungry, I'm going to eat more, so I took a 'Nakd' bar with me to eat an hour beforehand. This meant I was less hungry when I got to the hotel.

3. Enjoyment - I need to STOP feeling guilty for eating 'bad' food. I'm not a bad person and eating a few sandwiches and cakes is not the end of the world.

4. Willpower - I might be eating non-healthy food, but that doesn't mean I should go crazy and stuff myself. I need to eat to stop my hunger, but NOT overeat.

5. Mantra - One of the most amazing quotes I've read recently is 'Eating bad food for one day is not going to matter just like eating good food for one day isn't going to matter' - Basically.. it's a lifestyle choice, it's not a quick fix.

6. Regroup - Tonight I ate sushi. It was healthy and I'm now back on track. One meal will not make a difference and I need to make sure I don't continue to eat rubbish.

Afternoon Tea was lovely - all the food and cakes were gorgeous. However, I only had 1 scone and not 2 and I didn't eat all the cakes. I also only had the 'normal' amount of sandwiches and didn't ask for any extra. This might not seem like much, but this is a massive thing for me. I left feeling as it I could eat more - I wasn't totally full and this felt GOOD! 

I felt proud of myself, really proud that I had managed to exercise restraint and willpower but still enjoy a lovely time with my Mother. 

It's hard for me, it really is - but I really do want to change my lifestyle and eat healthy so I'm not going to allow myself to slip back into the bad habits. I'm going to look back on my day with enjoyment and upload the photos of my Mother and I to Facebook for more happy memories :-)

Swan Sunday

Really nice to get out and about even if it's not sunny

Sadly despite it being mid May, it doesn't appear to be inching towards summer yet - Despite this, my boyfriend and I decided to go to the Abbotsbury Swannery near Dorchester. It's 2 hours from where we are, however he doesn't mind driving and it's somewhere we have wanted to go for ages as I love animals / nature etc, so we set off pretty early so we could enjoy the day.

It's an amazing place, apparently it's the only place in the world that has a nesting colony of mute swans and was established by Benedictine Monks who built a monastery at Abbotsbury during the 1040′s.

There are loads and loads of swans and it was lovely, walking around, seeing them all nesting and also seeing a few of the cygnets as they apparently hatched a few days ago and were so cute!

To get to the swannery, it was a good 5-10 minute walk and then we walked around the place for at least an hour before stopping off in the cafe for a cup of tea. 

Since I started healthy eating, this was the first time my will power was really tested - My boyfriend ordered a large caramel shortbread, topped with what looked to be amazing chocolate. He asked if I wanted something and I was so tempted so say yes - after all, I'd been walking for at least an hour, right?

However, I managed to actually ask myself - do I need it? Does my body need it? and the answer was no - I didn't. That's not to say I didn't watch him eat every single mouthful, wishing I was slimmer so I could eat it and not worry as much, however no - I am genuinely committed to changing my shape and eating healthier, so I just had a cup of tea (I don't drink coffee). I felt quite proud of myself :-)

After a nice sit down, we headed back home and watched a couple of episodes of the BBC 'How food is made in a factory' - It's a 3 parter with Greg Wallace (bloke off Masterchef) investigating how chocolate / bread and milk are manufactured.

It was interesting - however when we were watching the chocolate one, I was getting so hungry and all I really fancied was chocolate, so I thought the best thing I could do was start cooking dinner.

Dinner was a healthy 'tamarind fish curry' - something I had meal planned a few days ago. For the first time ever, I tried to pay attention to the portion guidance on the rice packet and did 3.5 portions - 1 for me, 1 for my lunch tomorrow and 1.5 for my boyfriend. It's the first time ever that I've not done too much rice! It wasn't too bad - I can't say it was amazing in all honesty, it didn't seem to be as aromatic as I expected and was also quite watery, even though I used the recommended 400ml of light coconut milk.

I'm hoping that the flavours will mature overnight and at the end of the day, I know it's good for me as it was cooked from scratch and has less than 450 calories and 12g of fat. 

Already the stomach ache of worry is starting over going to work tomorrow - I really need to try and find a new job ASAP! However until then, I need to continue my healthy eating and not revert back to eating rubbish.

I'm quite proud of the fact that after 2.5 months of eating utter rubbish day after day, I've been able to stick to my healthy eating for 5 days. It doesn't sound a lot, and hopefully this time next week, next month (and who knows, next year?) I'll be saying the same... I certainly feel better within myself though :-)