Friday, 25 September 2015

Hormones are evil

Today hasn't gone exactly as planned.

Unfortunately my boyfriend snored quite a lot last night so I didn't get much sleep.  We had to be up early as we had an island tour booked, so got up and booked a taxi for 7.45am. No time for breakfast or tea, just enough time to shower! After getting to the location,  things started going down hill when the guide said the tour had been cancelled and that he had tried to contact me for the last 3 days...

Oddly,  I hadn't got any emails or phone calls but hey, there we go. The guide said we could rearrange for tomorrow which was fine, but we had to then go back to the hotel... more taxi expense! 'No problem', said the guide and showed us to the nearest bus stop...

Going on a local bus was an experience - massive sound system, TV showing psychedelic swirls and patterns, flashing lights and a picture of Jesus imprinted on the ceiling of the bus! Thankfully we made it back to the hotel and decided to take advantage of our free say by getting some breakfast and doing some laundry... (1 weeks worth of dirty holiday clothes and in hot countries,  I shower and change clothes a LOT)...

We ate breakfast in the hotel and I ordered a spinach, mushroom and tomato omelette - it looked amazing, however came with refried beans and corn chips! I are the omelette which was delicious,  however my boyfriend ate the rest of my breakfast as I wasn't keen on eating more corn chips for breakfast.

Laundry was easy to do and after all my clothes were done,  we decided to go into the swimming pool and chill. Usually this wouldn't be a big thing for me, however as I'm not exactly very 'body confident', wearing a swimming costume in front of strangers is quite anxiety provoking for me.

However - I really wanted to try it, so covered up with jeans and a top on top of my swimming costume,  headed to the pool and at the last minute,  stripped off and got in. I have to say, it was lovely.. really relaxing and perfect after walking back from the bus stop and orting out washing and getting all hot.

After a few hours, we decided to head to the 'El ray' Mayan ruins. I eanted to go as reviews saud that there were loads of Iguanas around and I wasn't disappointed! We spent a good hour walking around the ruins and marvelling at the laid back Iguanas, sunning themselves on rocks.

Heading back to the hotel for a late lunch,  lunch was a lovely chicken salad and mineral water - yummy! Before we chilled further by the pool. My boyfriend continued to swim, whereas I decided to read my book 'What to expect when you're expecting '... what a mistake. It's so, well. .. 'twee'... Talking about your 'exciting 9 month journey' and stretch marks being 'the red badge of Motherhood' *vomit*...

As I'm not happy about what's happening to me, reading this pile of tripe did not help my mood - I felt like even more of a freak.. like I'm supposed to be 'super happy and excited' when all I want to do is cry. After getting back to our hotel room I burst into tears on my boyfriend again and said I just don't know what to do... I'm so unhappy at the moment and worried / anxious / feel like a freak as I'm not happy about being pregnant.

My boyfriend was amazing and just cuddled me, reiterating the fact he'll support whatever decision I choose - But I have no idea what that is at present. At the moment I think eating healthy is helping me mentally - At least it's not making me feel any more crap :-) Tonight I think we'll just eat in the hotel, cuddle and watch more random things on iplayer - I hope the island trip goes well tomorrow! :-)

Hormones suck :-/

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