Life can be very random at times...
Considering yesterday went well, I was hoping that today would follow, however for a reason I just can't pinpoint, it's felt very 'meh' and I've felt really deflated today.
Last night, before going to bed, I went into the kitchen to put my glass in the sink and just checked my pet snails were OK - I think I've mentioned before I've got pet snails, however long story short: I live in rented accommodation at the moment and therefore I'm not allowed any pets. My (crazy) Landlords did confirm that they were happy for me to have a fish tank and therefore I assumed they'd be happy for me to keep snails in a plastic dome. My boyfriend bought them for me, for my Birthday present and I've been watching them grow and feed them every day - They're kinda cool, if not a little odd :-)
Anyway, once in the kitchen, I thought they were injured as they had white 'things' on the side of their head.... then realised that no, they weren't injured - they were indulging in, *ahem* 'adult fun time'.... Honestly, it was one of the weirdest things I had witnessed for quite some time, so after taking a photograph (like you do) I felt really uncomfortable watching them, so turned the light out and went to bed..... Checking in on them this morning, they were still at it, so snails must obviously have more stamina than your average human...
Unfortunately the day didn't start off overly well, when one of my favourite bras died a death and the underwire started sticking out. For anyone who has had this happen to them, you'll know it's one of the most uncomfortable things that can happen and you're forever wiggling around and trying to shove the wire back in.... So I bid goodbye to the trusty garment and threw it in the bin. Ahh well, another excuse to buy new underwear, I guess!
My lovely Vegan friend was in the office when I arrived and had left a present on my desk - my favourite (and her favourite) type of nakd bar! She's such a lovely person and is definitely the person I'm going to miss the most when I (hopefully) leave the company. I popped the bar to one side and ate my porridge whilst catching up on emails.
One of the emails came from my Mother to my personal account:
Just in case you'd forgotten its fathers day this coming sunday - please don't get him whiskey tasting set or anything along the same lines - it won't be appreciated by him ! Suggest just a card and phone call on sunday
This really, really annoyed me as 1. I've never forgotten Fathers Day in my life and 2. One of the presents I got him for Christmas was a Whiskey tasting kit.... This kind of thing really, really gets to me for some reason, so I replied
'Haven't forgotten the last 20 or so years so don't think this year will be any different....Card already bought, will send on Thursday....'
My sisters also replied along the same lines, with my youngest sister saying that it's a shame that my Father places such an emphasis on presents. I think if I was a parent, I'd be chuffed with a card, especially if my children had written something nice in it - surely that's effort and thought?
Despite my Boss's calendar saying he wasn't in the office today, he was.... which wasn't great. So I had to sit next to him, pretending I was happy and motivated when really I wanted to curl into a ball and cry - Looking at his calendar, it turns out that he has yet another 3 hour meeting with 'the woman' at work. God knows what it's about as all it says is 'Out of office', so it's either 'adult fun time' like the snails or I assume... they're planning how she's going to be taking over more of my role. Either way... it looks like D-Day will potentially be a week today as he's penciled in my annual appraisal to his diary. He's not sent me an invite yet, so I don't know if it will go ahead, however it does, I'm expecting him to announce the changes then.....
Lunch time came and I was still feeling really down, however I decided to go for a walk into town in the sun to buy more bird food (so the feathered Mafia don't get annoyed) and buy batteries for my scales that seem to be dying. Walking into town was lovely, however even the sun failed to cheer me up :-( Walking for 30 minutes in and around time was good and by the time I got back, I was starving, so had my lunch which was the same as yesterday - pepper, houmous and tomatoes with a pita bread. It's a good staple favourite, however I do think I need to try the pasta salad ideas I found last week.
Tonight I'm seeing my counselor after work, which I do every Tuesday and have done since September last year. She's helping me talk through my issues with food and (try) and learn to love myself at whatever size - It's a slow process, but I think she's helping and I also think writing about my feelings and the relationship I have with food is helping as well.
I guess we'll see in a few more months if that's the case - Size 14 jeans are in my sights..... :-)