Tuesday, 9 June 2015

I didn't expect that.....

Well, there's a to-do...

Having slept very badly last night (waking at 02:11, and 4:31 and not getting back to sleep after 5:45...) due to worrying about my interview today, I got dressed, ate my porridge and got ready whilst the voice in the back of my head kept saying to me 'You could just not go to London, you could watch Game of Thrones all day in your Pyjamas' Even when I was on the train to London and got on the tube, my mind was still saying to me that I was kidding myself, that I wasn't technical, or even good enough to pass the interview and that the last 5 years have been a fluke.

I think my brain works in the same way regarding food: That I can't possibly get slim, I am rubbish at losing weight and I'm just a fat person in general. Why don't I just accept it and eat another large chocolate bar? Why am I kidding myself I can succeed this time? 

I've come to the conclusion that my brain can be a total arse at times.

After getting to the companies address, I was met by a really lovely and friendly HR person. Despite the recruiter screwing up the date / time, they still accommodated me and I did the 90 minute technical test.....Oddly, I thought I did OK. Even more oddly, so did they and whilst other people were thanked for their time and told that they wouldn't be progressing their application further, I was interviewed by a very friendly, technical person who decided to grill me on various I.T. architectures.. For some reason, I didn't panic, nor freak out at any point and it seemed to go rather well. 

They thought so as well, as apparently they are suggesting I come back for the 'second round' of interviews as I left at 1:30pm...

I feel elated and really proud of myself - Suddenly the burden on my shoulders over my horrible workplace seems a little less, almost as if a door has partially opened and given me a genuine exit strategy. It's a really nice feeling - So is the fact that I may not be as useless as I think I am.

I hadn't eaten when I left the Company, so I decided to go the my favourite place in London - The Japan Centre, and buy a LOT of sushi. As I was hungry by the time I go there, I went into my usual overdrive and bought way too much. I was thinking 'I did well this morning, I deserve a chocolate pancake', however actually managed to stop myself before putting it in the basket as I shouldn't be rewarding myself with treats (plus, if you remember, I managed to find out how many calories and fat a chocolate pancake was.. and it was a lot!).

Despite buying way too much sushi, on the train, I listened to my body and only ate 6 pieces of sushi, stopping after each one and a custard pancake, which I assumed would be more healthy than the chocolate one. Hrm... Looking it up on my fitness pal suggests it's 325 calories and 6g of fat. That's an awful lot of calories for a pancake - Why are so many tasty things so high in calories? :-(

As for the fate of the rest of the sushi, I'm going to eat it tonight and tomorrow for lunch, meaning that I'm not going to waste it, nor am I going to overeat tonight. I'm back in the office tomorrow and tonight, I'll be watching random TV and feeling chuffed about my success today :-)

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