My Emotions are up and down like a rollercoaster and it doesn't look like it's going to stop any time soon.
After the rather fraught day yesterday and the fact I didn't get offered the job, I managed to sleep slightly better and got up at my usual time of 7:15. I had a missed delivery from Royal Mail last week and didn't really have time to collect it before this morning, so headed over to the Post Office to pick up my parcel before heading to work - The oddest thing has been happening recently and I don't know if I'm just more sensitive to it or not, but it seems like a lot more men are opening doors for me and being generally, well... more nice.
When I was heading to the Post Office, this bloke got to the door a good 5 seconds before me and rather than going in, he held it open and gestured for me to go before him. I'll say right here and now, I'm a feminist - I believe in equality between men and women and I'm more than capable of opening doors. However, I'm also a human being and as such, didn't want to offend him or be rude, so smiled and said 'Thank you ever so much' and went through - he was trying to be nice, so why say anything else? This seems to be happening more and more recently and I don't know if it's because I've been straightening my hair more and the sight of long, blonde hair is changing peoples actions, or is it because I'm losing weight? It will be interesting to see if it continues to happen...
My parcel was a rather nice black jumper from eBay, so I'm looking forward to wearing that in a months time - It fits perfectly at the moment and is really flattering. Hopefully it won't be too big at Christmas time :-) I headed into work with half the box of Bakewell Tart nakd bars that got delivered yesterday as my vegan work friend also really likes them and we agreed to split the box. Rather than just dump them on her desk, I thought I'd make a rather pretty 'heart shape' which she seemed to appreciate when she got into the office.
Work was rather boring until lunch time, then I decided I'd head home and work from home this afternoon as I had a telephone interview at 1:00pm. I grabbed some lunch from Marks and Spencers (my usual pita bread, houmous etc) and as soon as I got home, fired up my laptop and continued to work until 1:00pm.
I've not worked from home in about 2 months and even though it's perfectly acceptable, I don't want to appear to take the piss. I also thought that as I had a telephone interview, it wasn't fair to go over my lunch hour by much as despite how horrible the company is at the moment, they are paying me to do a job and work for them. Equally, all the job interviews I've had to date - I've taken holiday. I've not 'been ill', I've never lied about where I was or what I was doing and more importantly, I still have my integrity. Work is crap, I hate it and I feel sick every day I have to go in - However I refuse to stoop to a low level of not working when I'm supposed to work as that's just, well... wrong?
The similarities between not taking the piss at work and not taking the piss when healthy eating has been the thought that's been dominating me for the past few hours. You know what's good for you, you know what's bad for you - You know if you eat 5 chocolate bars and crisps in a day, the chances of you losing weight is fairly slim. However, that's absolutely fine - Unless you're moaning to others about 'Why aren't you losing weight?' I've had it with ex work colleagues - They tell me they're on a diet, decide to go on a 'juice cleanse' or a have 10 slim fast shakes lined up on their desk and make a big song and dance about what they're doing. Then an email goes round about 'Birthday Cake in the kitchen' or 'Leftover Pizza to go to a good home' and they're the first ones literally running to grab a large slice.
I used to be like this to a degree - Not regarding birthday cake at work, but in regards to kidding myself about what I was eating. I'd be dieting all day and then at night I'd eat a big bar of chocolate knowing that it was bad for me, but still stepping on the scales the next day believing there was still a small hope I may have lost weight. Oddly enough, I never did.
I am not taking the piss when it comes to my work and I'm not taking the piss when it comes to my body - I'm still eating healthy food 3 times a day and it's working. I'm losing weight at a sensible rate. Looking to the future, I want to keep my integrity on both - Hopefully for all of my life.
... Oh, and I think I aced another telephone interview - He said it would be 'disappointing' if I didn't come and work for him, so I'll wait and see on that one!