Friday, 26 June 2015

Never forget the positives

When things are stressful..... Keep on going.

I think most people are relieved that it’s Friday, however I’m so relieved it’s untrue.

Sitting at work, feeling like a leper each day is really getting to me and whilst I know I should think ‘Every day you’re paying me is one day closer to buying a house with my boyfriend’ and  ‘At least I have a job’, it’s so hard to actually pretend you’re happy when you hate every minute of it. In the last 5 years, I’ve always been so busy I’ve never noticed the time, I’ve never thought ‘Only 2 more hours until I’m at home’, yet at the moment I’m glancing at the clock every 10 minutes and calculating how long it is until I can leave for the day.

However, I know that this will change and I need to hold onto that fact. Rather than writing another 3 paragraphs about how awful work is, I won’t. I want to remind myself of what’s good in my life and why I’m not the incompetent, horrible person that I’m feeling people are thinking I am, at work.

1. I’ve got amazing friends – My friends have been amazing. They’ve sent me postcards, they’ve sent me texts, they’ve sent me funny Facebook messages and are all really supportive. I feel a lot less alone than I would if I was going through this on my own.

2. I’ve got amazing sisters – My sisters are all brilliant. I spoke to one of them yesterday on the phone and she said it was a shame I failed the interview on Wednesday, however ‘it’s all good practice and you’ll find something soon’

3. I’ve got the worlds best Boyfriend – Well, I think I do :-) He’s been absolutely fantastic in listening to me and saying I’m awesome. It’s really nice to hear someone telling you that you’re a good person and that you do a good job at work.

4. I’ve got an awesome CV – I’m only 33 and I’ve got a LOT of experience in my area.

5. I’ve got 1 face to face interview confirmed, another face to face interview to be scheduled and I’ve just had a phone call from another recruiter about another job – This is all really positive!

6. My healthy eating is going really well – Despite all of the stuff that’s going on in my life, I’m still managing to eat healthily. This is the first time I’ve EVER done this in my entire life.

7. I’ve got a great weekend planned with my boyfriend and my friend – we’re off to an antiques auction and then I’ve got a really fun day out planned with my friend and I’m looking forward to catching up with her.

8.I’m in good health – After my wisdom tooth operation in January, I’ve not really had any aches or pains as such. Once my job issues are sorted, life should be a lot better and I won’t have anything to worry about.

I know there are many more reasons, but those are the main ones for me at the moment. Additionally, throughout all the crap, my lovely vegan work friend is being amazing as per usual and no matter how much stress I get, she’s always there to go to lunch with and make a cup of tea with me, which I really appreciate.

So far my eating today has been pretty normal – Porridge for breakfast and I brought the other half of the pot of houmous in from home, as well as another pepper, pita bread and tomatoes. Tonight, my lovely work friend and I are going to a mutual friends house (she also used to work with us) and will hopefully sit out in her garden and have a couple of hours of catching up and ‘goss’. Apparently our mutual friend has brought chips as well as other vegan food, which is really kind of her, however when I read the sentence ‘I’ve also bought chips’ in a message, I started to panic a little bit. Not eaten since lunch time? Hungry by 6pm? Nice hot chips being offered to me? MASSIVE AMOUNTS OF WILLPOWER REQUIRED.

I have decided to be a bit smart and at lunch time, lovely work friend and I headed out into the sunshine and whilst she bought lunch and some nibbles for tonight, I decided I’d buy a ‘raw brownie’ to eat at 3pm, so I shouldn’t be too hungry by the time we reach our friends house and therefore I shouldn’t overeat as I’m really hungry. After getting food, we went and sat out in the local park which was really, really nice – not only because we weren’t in the office, but the sun was shining, the flowers looked beautiful and all my work issues seemed so small in comparison to ‘the rest of the world’. Having eaten the brownie, I have to say, it was ‘OK’, but nowhere near as good as the Bakewell Tart nakd bars, so I still remain a convert :-)

Thankfully the afternoon hasn’t gone too badly today and with less than 1.5 hours to go, I’m going to head off to a meeting  and hope it lasts for ages so I can walk out into the glorious sunshine and enjoy a couple of really awesome days.

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